My current skincare routine:

Here is my extremely convoluted and overwhelming skincare routine. At first, even writing this and finding what works for me was too much and I became anxious just trying to work out which product works together and which conflicts (The Ordinary’s products and how to layer them were the most confusing for me).

The reason I am posting this is that when I review products, you need to know the state of my skin and the current products I use so I can give you the most honest and transparent review possible.

my first Glossier order!

 

L-R: Cloud Paint in Storm, Beam, Puff, Dawn Balm dot com in Mango, Birthday cake Generation G in Cake

I have wanted to try Glossier for years; I stalked their Instagram and oohed and ahhed the pictures and products, dreaming of how amazing the products would be. Finally, I decided, why am I even waiting? I put some money aside and finally, I placed an order!

To be honest, I found it very difficult to make up my mind (well…more than usual), I wanted almost everything! I am definitely going to get the rest of the Generation G lip tints/sheer lipsticks. They remind me of Colourpop’s Blotted Lipsticks, except the quality and wear is 100% better.

I haven’t used the cloud paints yet but I did open one and my one complaint, the pressure pushed out a good amount of product when I gently peeled back the seal. So I’m slightly unhappy about that aspect. I’m sure they’ll wear wonderfully. I didn’t get the last two colours because of my skin tone but I may, depending on how they perform.

I did try the Mango and Birthday cake balm dot com and yes, Glossier, yes! This is how you do lip balms. They smell and wear fantastically.

p.s I know there were some complaints and issue taken with Glossier’s bubble wrap zip bag they include in the order and I completely understand where people are coming from. We have to be consciously aware of the impact our consumerism has on the environment but companies have to be responsible too. They should try their best to use sustainable packaging and reduce their waste, as much as possible. Glossier did comment and they pledged to be more sustainable and this summer, there will be an option at checkout to opt-out of the bubble wrap bag, stickers and other add-ins. I absolutely love the bubble wrap bag but I would also love the option to opt-out, especially if I do multiple orders. I wish other companies learned from Glossier’s actions and did the same. 

Expect a full, in-depth review of the products soon!

Have any of you tried Glossier’s products? Am I the only one that took forever to jump on the Glossier bandwagon?

Thursday morning.

This was taken this morning; I didn’t use a filter, the sky was even more orange than this. It was hard to photograph. The sky was trying to fight and peek through the smoke and smog from the forest fires in my province. I wanted to share this with all of you.

I don’t owe anyone anything.

Say this with me, “I don’t owe you anything”, “I don’t owe them anything”, “I don’t owe X anything”. Rinse and repeat, over and over, until you believe it.

This has become my new mantra lately. I met up with someone from group therapy and she said something that had the earth beneath me quivering.

So here goes: I never had boundaries, I never even knew what they were and the thought of putting myself first freaked me out when I thought about it. I still feel a tad nauseous when I set boundaries and when I speak my truth. It’s terrifying and I get a little sick but afterwards, it’s empowering and freeing. I just wish I remembered the latter, instead of always fixating on the former.

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I’m Vietnamese Canadian. I was raised to never say no, to always put others ahead of myself–even at my own expense, to work hard and work even harder for others. I was raised with an abacus in my head, always sliding the beads over towards others and what I owed them. An invisible tally only I was keeping score, to a game no one even knew about. Always giving myself away for no other reason than guilt; guilt for being born? Guilt for someone being nice to me? Guilt and shame was the air I breathed.

Someone was nice to me? Now I couldn’t say no. Someone I met once asked a favour of me? Now I had to say yes. Someone gave me a birthday present? Now they owned me. I was walking around, heavy with being owned by everyone and it ate at me. It still does.

My dad says it’s being polite but let’s be honest, it’s so far past polite, it has its own stratosphere. I’m going to use strong language in this post, so please forgive me for that. But, it’s being a pushover, a doormat (as my friend, D., calls it); convincing myself I owed everything to absolutely everyone, it gave others an excuse and a chance to take advantage of me. Of course, they did and I can’t really blame them too much for doing so, I allowed myself to be taken advantage of (that doesn’t mean I’m not angry at them). Being a ‘Yes (Wo)man’ never got me anywhere, it only made me miserable, exhausted, and self-loathed.

May 25th, ootd

birthday makeup lotd

Here is my birthday makeup! If you saw my previous post, this is the finished look! Overall, I’m very happy with how my makeup looked though I could’ve used more setting powder, and the sunscreen pilled and seemed to exacerbate my t-zone into producing more sebum than usual.

 

30 doesn’t look too bad on me, does it? (Do not answer that! My poor heart can’t take it.)

 

eBay haul!

Top row left to right:

• Holika Holika Holi Pop Jelly Tint in:
  • PK05
  • CR04
  • PK03

Bottom row left to right:

• Holika Holika Water Drop tint bomb in
  • Grapefruit Water
  • Orange Water
• Romantic Bear
  • Lovely Peach
  • Watermelon
• too cool for school Sleeping Pack Fresh Gore

 

Someone please, please save me from eBay. Anyone? World? Universe?

birthday makeup flatlay!

Products used:

• Top row L-R:
  • Etude House Sunprise Mild Airy Finish SPF50+ PA+++
  • Milk Makeup Hydro-Grip Primer
  • Laura Mercier Foundation Primer Radiance
  • Becca Shimmering Skin Perfector Spotlight in Moonstone
  • NYX Bare with Me Tinted Skin Veil in True Beige Buff
  • Smashbox Studio Skin Flawless 24 Hour Concealer in Light Medium Cool
  • Smashbox Studio Skin Flawless 24 Hour Concealer in Light Neutral Olive
  • Holika Holika Holi Pop Jelly Tint in PK05
  • Tatcha Luminous Dewy Skin Mist
  • Laura Mercier Translucent Loose Setting Powder

• Bottom row L-R:
  • NARS Summer Lights Face Palette
  • Milk Makeup Lip + Cheek Tint in Quickie
  • Make Up Forever Smoky Extravagant Mascara
  • Milk Makeup Long Wear Gel Eyeliner in BCC
  •  Anastasia Beverly Hills Dipbrow Gel in Medium Brown
  • Urban Decay Eyeshadow Primer Original
  • Urban Decay All Nighter Setting Spray

 

hello 30, how are you?

It’s a dreary May day, the sun is hiding behind the clouds, rain drizzling from the grey sky and there is a slight (almost imperceptible) chill to the warm air.

Today is May 24th. I’ve always loved that number (Christmas Eve, anyone?!) but my absolute favourite number is 25. Why? Because awesome things fall on the 25th. Christmas, my birthday, Christmas, my birthday, you get the point.

Tomorrow is May 25th, my birthday (cue internal meltdown in 3, 2, 1…). Though this year, I’m really dreading it. Honestly, I think all of us, at one point in our lives, start to dread our birthdays.

Just think about it, sure, our hearts grow wiser but damn, wrinkles, grey hair, facing the daily ageism of a society that perpetuates young is better, a culture which feeds on the narrative that your life starts to end once you hit your late twenties. It’s a tidal wave against self-acceptance, a tsunami against liking ourselves.

 

Of course, there’s going to be some of you out there that will tell me, who cares? I can already hear a few of my friends tell me off for writing all of that. And that’s the thing, I don’t care. Most days. The caveat is that there are those days where I try not to care but I do. I don’t shame myself for feeling that way, what’s the point of making yourself feel worse when you already feel terrible about yourself?

My birthday is tomorrow (can I officially start screaming in terror now?) and I am trying hard not to overthink it.

Today, I’m okay. Tomorrow? Who knows? I’m probably going to feel horrible for an hour or two and then just realize, why fight something I can’t change? Radical acceptance has really helped me move forward and see the positives in my life. It’s one of those things that’s hard to do but also very empowering. 

My current a.m lineup

From left to right:

• The Face Shop Rice Water Bright Light Cleansing Oil,
• Tatcha Classic Rice Polish Foaming Enzyme Powder,
• Youth to the People Superfood Face Wash,
• DIY Rice Water Toner,
• DIY Green Tea, Aloe Vera, Witch Hazel Facial Mist.

I am currently loving this lineup in the morning (note: I don’t use the Rice Powder every morning but this morning, I did so that’s why I included it in this photo).