Hello.
It’s been a while. How have you been?
There have been so many changes in my life since my last post. Little victories along the way that I quietly celebrated, a few setbacks that I ruminated over. But the thing is, I’m happy.
It’s been a year since I was in the outpatient program. I look back at how far I’ve come since February of last year and I’m taken aback. Last year, I was enduring and surviving, just trying to get by, day by day. This year, I’m living and thriving. I have happy days–days where I’m so damn grateful to be alive.
I’ve finally decided to go back to school. The job market where I live is getting worse and I had no luck so far. I decided it was time to finish what I had started years ago.
I had left university four years ago when my mental health deteriorated and I could barely function. Some days, I regret leaving (I could already have a degree by now), but other days, I know I had to leave to get where I am now. If I hadn’t left university, I would never have fallen apart even more, and I would never have entered treatment.
I try to remind myself, even though I’m not where I want to be, I’ll get there, wherever I’m supposed to be–in time. I just have to have patience, something I struggle with. But I’m learning that life is all about patience.
I’m back at university. It feels weird to be back. Everything seems so different, and yet, it feels as though nothing has changed. I’m older now, older than almost all of the students there, but I try not to focus too much on that fact. I’m there for myself and that’s all that matters.
So that leads me to here. As winter ebbs away, and spring is slowly awakening, my life is in transition. Our lives are in transition, changing and blossoming with the seasons.
I hope, wherever you are, that you are well. If your life is in transition, or not what you were expecting, remind yourself that it’ll take time. It may not be what you had envisioned for yourself but it’s yours, and you’ll get there. Best of luck.
In thriving,
A.
Honeysuckle Haiku 