May 21, OOTD

I’m starting to find my style, or at least, what I think I look good in.

In University, it was always boots, leggings, tunics, and scarves with no-makeup or very minimal makeup.

Then I fell down, fell apart, broke and shattered into a million pieces.

During the three years that I lived in a very dark place, I became a sad girl who only wore one colour a day, monochromes of either grey or black (most of the time, it was black). The only burst of colour I touched was my vibrant and weird socks. I must confess, I still do wear socks that are either weird, bright, or ugly and I take pride in them. If I had the funds (and space), I would have an entire closet filled with whacky patterns, gorgeous saturated colours, and different lengthened socks. Now, I use them as accents, whereas in the past, my scarves would be my accents.

I’m finding my style and most of the time, it’s black pants, or ‘mom’ jeans, boots or oxfords, tops that border on short or cropped, and if I’m going out, long blazers. I’m trying to grow my hair out so I’ve been wearing my hair in mini buns at the top of my head, or pulled back with a bow barrette.

I’m also learning to express myself through my glasses. Who would’ve guessed that I’d wear different shapes and colours of glasses and interchange them depending on what I’m wearing that day. I’ve only ever had one pair of glasses that I wore and wore until they broke, and they were always ugly black rectangular shaped glasses. Absolutely hideous on me and always clashing with my outfits.

I wore glasses as a necessity and it wasn’t until recently that I’m learning I can express myself through them. So I found a place to buy affordable and trendy glasses and I now have six pairs and yes, I’m eyeing a few more to add to my growing collection. I justify having six pairs of glasses in that I wear them every day and I change pairs just as often. If I only needed glasses to read, then, of course, six pairs is a little over the top. (My dad still thinks six pairs is excessive but I mean, if you know me, you know I’m very over the top.)

Whenever I look in the mirror, I still can’t believe how far I’ve come in radically accepting my body. I still have a long way to go but I don’t hide under ill-fitting, baggy clothing, or tunics anymore. Now, I wear short shirts, crop tops, shirts that hug my body, t-shirts tucked into my pants. Even six months ago, the very idea would’ve made me cry. Instead of hiding my insecurities behind scarves, long-sleeved sweaters, baggy clothing, and tunics, I wear what I like and I’ve accepted my insecurities as parts of my body, and not flaws.

I am not my body and my style is now reflecting that.